The other side of me
by Phantasyink
Summary: After what happened in the Seelie Court, Clary is having a hard time forgiving herlself but when she looks for the Seelie Queen for answers things only get messier. (Story based on the TV Show and not the books, there will be references but I'm mostly taking inspiration from the show.)


"You're distracted." Isabelle complained.

Clary could've attempted a decent denial but she still had a little dignity left in her, plus if she could let go with anyone it had to be with Izzy. "Can you blame me?" She huffed with her eyes glued to the stars. "Simon hates me, Jace wants to confront me about the kiss and I just want to disappear."

With a swift step Isabelle neared Clary and reached out for her with her hand. "You can't hide from your problems forever."

Clary accepted the offer with a sigh. "I can't stop replaying that scene over and over in my head."

"Was the kiss that good?" Isabelle sprinted out with a roguish smile.

Clary went around it with another sigh. "I shouldn't have taken my eyes away from Simon, he left thinking that I have all of these feelings for Jace but I don't know how I feel."

"About Jace?"

"About all of this." Clary rested against the balcony on the roof. "I thought that I was happy with Simon but when I was kissing Jace I couldn't think of anything else but him."

"You still can't." Isabelle teased her while she turned away to leave.

As the other walked away Clary had a lasting look at the city before she faced the angel statue, Izzy was right.

XxxxxX

"… they're sending someone from the Clave and they will replace me." Alec was distraught but it didn't make much sense to keep gushing out about his worries when Jace was just on auto-pilot, he wasn't responding at all to the _conversation._ "Maybe I'll just make their life easy and move in with Magnus and forget that I'm a Shadowhunter altogether."

They were just about to cross the front door of the Institute when the words finally sparkled a surprised response from Jace. "What?" He stopped to look at Alec.

Alec shrugged refusing to carry on talking when he was the only one invested in it.

Feeling guilty Jace licked his lips before attempting a very weak apology. "I'm distracted..."

"I _should_ move in with Magnus, at least he listens when I talk." Alec confessed.

"I was listening…" Jace protested with a huff. "And thinking about Clary kissing me."

Alec at first rolled his eyes. "Jace…" he lifted his hands a bit. "You need to talk to her."

He widened his eyes mockingly. "That's a brilliant idea except that she's not talking to me. At all."

"It's been a week and you're still pining over this, over her and it's starting to affect me."

Jace crossed his arms, it wasn't a defiance attitude but he was ticked off. "You're worried in vain, no one will replace you because you're the best choice to run this place. You're a Lightwood and this is what Lightwoods do, they lead."

"Not that I don't see right through your cheesy encouragement but I was actually talking about how you feeling miserable is starting to affect me personally." Alec explained in his usual calmness. "I'm your Parabatai and it's getting hard to ignore how much this is getting to you."

Jace lost the arrogance, he was too transparent when it came to Alec. "Every time I walk into a room she walks out, she either spends her time with Izzy or hiding from me." The line of his jaw clenched. "I don't know what to do Alec, before I felt that I was sick because I wanted my sister and now I feel like the known stalker that she's trying to evade."

"I've known you all my life and never once you've listened to a piece of advice." Alec turned his back on him.

"Because I don't do what you tell me to do, it doesn't mean that I don't listen." Jace spoke up.

After two short steps Alec turned around. "I'm not going to tell you what to do but you should sort this out with her because it's not just when I'm talking that you space out Jace." He neared him again to bring his hand to the back of his neck. "When we're out there fighting demons you also get distracted and I don't want you to get hurt."

Jace gulped down, that concern was real, it was like an energy rush emanating from Alec and reaching him through the invisible link that they shared, all the way from Alec's heart to the tip of the fingers gripping his neck.

"Ok?" Alec asked with a slight lift of his eyebrows.

Jace nodded at his brother.

Alec smiled a little as he pulled his hand away.

Jace chuckled. "But what are you saying about moving in with Magnus?" He started to walk away with a sneer. "We all know that there's a drawer already in his house filled with all of your black shirts."

Alec frowned deeply, all of his shirts were black and they were all neatly folded inside of a bag, that he kept in Magnus' room.

XxxxxX

The avoiding game was a constant lately for Clary so she was becoming good at it, when she wasn't with Isabelle she was always in her room and sometimes she was lucky enough to go from one point of the Institute to the other without showing up on Jace's radar, so when she saw the elevator doors closing she actually thought that it would be a smooth ride to the floor where her bedroom was.

And it wasn't until the last second that her hope faded, right when Jace stopped the closing movement with his hand, if she was smart she would react swiftly, all she had to do was press the _stop_ button and push him out of the way but as he stared her down all that she could feel was glued to the ground and unable to breath properly, let alone move a muscle.

"Do you have a minute?" He asked her serious.

Clary looked at the floors rushing through the panel. "More or less…"

He closed his hand and with the side of his fist he hit the _stop_ , he was having this conversation and it was going to be on his terms which didn't really suit Clary so for the next ten seconds they had nothing but an avalanche of unspoken animosity held between their eyes.

Until Jace broke the heavy silence. "It wasn't my fault, I didn't know that the Seelie Queen would come up with that game and I didn't ask for the kiss but somehow you're treating me like I'm guilty of everything that happened while we were in there."

"I'm not blaming you but I don't want to talk about it either." She replied looking away as soon as the sentence ended.

"We can't keep ignoring each other forever." He insisted on his serious tone.

She shoved her hands into her back pockets with a defiant little stare.

He crossed his arms miffed.

"You're really not going to make this easier on me." She lost the attitude, he was obviously set on having this talk and she would have to give in. "I kissed you in front of my boyfriend and now he's so heartbroken and mad that he doesn't even want to see me."

"You know that he'll come around." His hard posture cracked the slightest, he couldn't stand seeing her unwell.

"What if he doesn't? What if I just pushed away the one person out of us all who didn't deserve to be hurt?" She asked with a shaky voice.

"He just needs time."

"So do I Jace." She countered almost too hastily.

He made this guttural unpleasant sound, not only he wasn't going anywhere with Clary's stubbornness he also ended up defending Simon. "Imogen has been asking that I join her for a few days in Idris so maybe this is the right time to do it. I think that we could all use the distance right now."

Her reaction came slow, she wasn't expecting that he would leave the city but she had no right to ask him to stay either, not when her mind was such a mess and when the elevator came to a halt she watched as Jace left quick and swift.

Numbly she pushed the lower button, she couldn't possibly go to her room now and be confined to four walls that were bound to close in on her ruthlessly demanding a solution, she was too confused for that, she was defiantly conflicted by two voices in her mind going at each other.

Clary left the Institute and her seemingly aimless walk took her to the park where all of her recent problems triggered out of control, she stared at the water blankly but jumping into the Seelie world wouldn't solve anything and she slowly backed away from the rash thought.

"You don't have to leave so hastily."

Clary looked at the young girl baffled, she hadn't seen her or heard her approaching at all.

The Queen smiled, she was wearing a simple pink dress and she looked like any other mundane child with the exception of the faerie marks ornamenting her beautiful face.

"I shouldn't have come here." Clary said determined but her legs weren't moving as fast as her brain was.

"You're here now and running away won't solve any of your riddles."

Clary truly hated that horrible singing tune, it was annoying and she didn't have to put herself through this. "Talking to you won't solve them either." She stormed away in the opposite direction.

"Are you certain of that?" The Queen called out in a loud voice.

Against her will and good reason Clary stopped walking.

Triumphant the Seelie smiled. "You can ask me whatever you want, after all I am unable to deceive you."

Clary turned around with a fierce scowl. "Don't you mean to say that you can't lie?"

"Shadowhunters are often caught up with the most frivolous details." She easily answered.

"Why did you make us play that game?"

"I told you already Clary Fray, the game was not for me."

Clary snapped. "Choosing between Simon and Jace is not a game to me."

"Unless you consider both, it's not really a choice… is it?" The Queen delectably pursed her lips.

A hundred different emotions took over Clary. "I don't have to listen to this."

"You're as free to leave as you were to come here but the seed of doubt is a grueling affair and like a weed it will grow without control until everything else is dead, dead and dead."

Clary narrowed her eyes really annoyed with the recurring theme. "I don't see why you would care."

"You started the game Clary, but you never ended it."

"I kissed Jace."

"And so the choice was made for you but not by you."

Clary stared at other frustrated.

The Seelie Queen had a small amused giggle. "Perhaps I should help you see the difference."

"I don't think that I'm going to like this." Clary was instantly distrustful.

"Life is a never ending sequence of choices, even the tiniest one can cause the biggest ripple." The Queen had a few steps closer to Clary. "When Meliorn gave you passage into one of my realms you encountered a world where Shadowhunters were no longer a necessity…"

"You know what I saw in there?" Clary interrupted her.

"I'm the guardian of the realms Clary, everything that happens under my domain is under my knowledge. Further more, no one goes in and out without my permission."

Clary's expression changed with the realization. "My mother brought the portal stone from that world."

"She chose it for you, she must've thought that you would be happy in a reality where everyone was happy and where all the choices were already made for you." The Seelie Queen started walking knowing that Clary would follow her.

"Why did you help my mother?"

The short walk ended in front of two large oak trees in the park. "Did I?" The queen smiled at Clary. "I gave her a choice between two realities, she chose the one where you would have the father you never had, the friends that you wanted and the lover that you desired." Her smile grew as Clary did her best to hide her startling reaction. "But then again, it cannot be a fair choice unless you consider the options equally." She went back to the conversation on the bridge while forming a circle with the gracious movements of her arms and hands, when the portal started showing she looked at Clary.

"I'm not going near that." Clary wondered if it was too late to swallow her pride and call Jace.

"This world that the Shadowhunters so fearlessly defend cannot sustain unless there's balance and everything that is taken must be restored." She showed Clary a black gem.

It was similar to the one her mother gave her and even with the little knowledge that she had from this new life of hers she understood that the Seelie Queen was talking about a debt that had to be paid. "You want me to close the portal of that dimension."

"I told Jocelyn that she had to choose between the two gems but if she ever used one she would have to restore the other to its rightful place. And a deal with a Seelie must be honored." The Queen explained as she handed the black crystal piece to Clary.

She accepted it heavily. "What's the catch? There's always a catch with a Seelie."

"In this dimension your father was consumed by the anger and darkness that lives inside of him and that affected everything and everyone around him. Without Jocelyn's guidance, protection and love you never found your voice and the Clary that now exists never came to be so it would be a conflict to have your present memories awaken as you cross the portal."

"I'm not going to remember who I am?" Clary asked aghast. "How will I find a warlock to bring me back if I can't even remember that warlocks exist?"

The Queen opened the portal with the energy that came from her palm and she stepped aside so that Clary could advance. "The anchor that you choose from this world will accompany you to the other and no matter which dimension you visit there's always a warlock at the door."

"All I have to do is put this back where it belongs and close that door for good." Clary went over the plan one last time.

The Seelie Queen nodded with a perky little smile.

"Jace is going to be so mad at me when he finds out…" Clary went through the portal sure of it.

XxxxxX

" _Clary_?"

She blinked responding to the distant sound.

"Hey, are you ok?" Simon asked worried.

"Yeah… I am." Clary shook her head. "I just… I don't know…" she laughed, she felt like she was waking up from one of those intense dreams that she couldn't remember as soon as she woke up.

"Ok…" he gave her a look. "Did you start drinking before the afterparty?"

"No." She huffed, he knew that she rarely touched alcohol.

"I believe you." He smiled at her hugely. "Now give me some love before I go on stage."

She grinned already on her way to lace her arms tightly around him. "Go get them tiger." She softly wished him a good gig next and watched as he sprinted to the stage in his trade look, the glasses framed with his messy hair was a look that every girl loved.

And judging by the amount of screams there were a lot of fans out tonight to see the latest music sensation, it was a feeling that warmed her heart, just like that peaceful notion that he was happy and doing what he loved the most.

"I thought that you could use a drink to enjoy the show."

Clary reluctantly turned around, she recognized the irking voice at once, it was the repulsive bodyguard that Simon stubbornly kept around, she hated him and she hated the way he was trying to catch the color of her underwear through the laced lines of her navy-blue top. "I don't want anything from you."

He held out a blue bottle for her. "It's only water but…" he licked his lips. "If you dropped the hostility we could head over to the bar and have a drink or two."

She nervously yanked the bottle from his hand. "I just want you to leave me alone." She pushed him away to gain some room out of the narrow corridor.

Her strut only ended when she found the exit from the backstage area of the small club, it took her directly to the back alley and it was actually nice that it was chilly outside so she decided to stay there, even when she found someone else in the alley.

He was tall and he had golden flowing hair, she tried to be discrete but he was one of those guys that were naturally magnetic, her raw inspection of him lasted only for a few seconds but it was enough to pick up on the roguish look, he was wearing black jeans with a dark leather jacket that matched his army boots while his shirt was immaculately white.

The most hysterical voice inside of her head screamed that she had to look away and stop goggling at him but she couldn't keep up with everything happening inside of her brain and within the next second he looked up from the phone in his hand to look at her.

Clary wasn't a girl that easily blushed but then again she normally didn't encounter angel-looking people in the back alley of random bars in New York.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Ummm…" she felt blinded by a perfect line of white gorgeous teeth. "Hi." She wrapped her hands hard around the bottle.

"I'm Jace." He moved away from the wall he was leaning against and shoved his phone into the back pocket of his jeans.

The motion made his shirt stick to his chest and Clary wondered if he was an hallucination, it was very possible because, let's be real, she was a simple girl from Brooklyn who made a living by painting on the streets and stuff like this just never happened to people like her.

His smile took a mischievous turn. "This is usually the part when you tell me your name."

"Clary." She coyly smiled because he was fixated on her face, like he was enjoying what he was seeing.

Although Jace leaned away from the wall he didn't actually move to close the space between them. "Well Clary… why aren't you in there screaming with all the other girls over the new Harry Styles?"

He obviously refrained from rolling his eyes but she caught the contempt in his voice clearly. "Simon is my best friend, we've known each other since we were babies and I know all of his songs by heart." She smiled proudly. "He's better than Harry."

He rested the side of his shoulder against the wall. "Are the songs about you?"

She almost felt offended. "No." She wrinkled her forehead with a frown. "Like I told you, he's my best friend."

"So either you made a move and it didn't work out or he never made the move." He pointed smugly at her. "Or did his fame get in the way?"

"Are you always this blunt?" She made her question sound almost rhetorical.

"A few call me cocky." Jace shrugged without care. "I don't see a problem with that or with asking the right questions."

"It's none of your business." She opened her bottle for some sort of confidence boost.

"It could be." He moved his shoulders with another shrug. "He doesn't sound like the sharpest pencil around and I'm a catch."

She had a big gulp of water. "You're hanging out in a back alley alone while all the girls are inside screaming for my friend."

"Not all of them, I have the prettiest keeping me company."

"Does that really work on other girls?" Clary asked with a hint of a smile that she knew how to keep all to herself.

He laughed and Clary felt compelled to laugh along with him and so this strange easy vibe settled between them.

"I'm here because my little sister is obsessed with your friend so I promised her that I would bring her here tonight but I never said anything about enduring two hours of…" he tried to be polite. "Mundane blabbering over a fabricated beat."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You don't have many friends, do you?"

"I have plenty of them." He scoffed with a slight throw of his head to the side.

Clary smiled as his hair followed the motion smoothly, yeah, she didn't have many friends either.

His phone started vibrating with a message and Jace reached back to his pocket to check on it. "My brother Alec…" he chuckled. "He was supposed to meet us here but his boyfriend is in town so I'm stuck chaperoning Izzy while she fangirls over the nerdy version of a one-man show."

"You know…" she had a step closer to him. "If you're trying to get a heated reaction you should know that I am proudly in charge of his fan club." She opened the door ready to go back inside.

Jace's smile was bigger but without the earlier smugness. "If I was your friend…"

Clary halted to look at the smiling angel twirling his phone in the air only to catch it safely as it came down.

"… I wouldn't have missed the chance." He easily told her.

"You don't even know me." She pointed out perplexed.

He tossed his phone back in the air again as he started to walk away. "If I did I would never leave your side." He caught his phone on perfect cue with his walk.

"That's creepy." She said loud enough for him to listen but since he wasn't stopping she shook her head. "Or incredibly hot." She went back inside the club indecisive.

The gig was probably halfway through, she recognized the lineup but these things were always unpredictable, depending on the reaction there could be an encore or two and Clary resumed to the place she reserved for herself in Simon's life, the safe and invisible spot in the shadow of his shiny life.

Clary watched him from afar tucked away in the shadows, sometimes he would look for her and magically find her, the moments he did that were rewarding and she never once regretted devoting her time to support him unconditionally, yet tonight she was feeling gloomy or perhaps she was just rattled by the meeting in the alley, so much that she gazed away from Simon to have a look at the crowd, it was a big number tonight but instantly she found what she was looking for.

It was almost ironic that he would refer to the gorgeous girl next to him as his little sister, she was a stunning girl with long black hair and red lips that blew sassy kisses at Simon, Clary was used to the Groupies but none of them looked as confident as this girl jumping up and down in her five-inch heels and skimpy red dress.

There was a moment when Jace wandered his eyes and found hers, like it happened back in the alley they were easily caught up with each other and neither looked away for the longest minute.

Of course that it had to end when Clary felt her mouth dry and her cheeks heated, it was a good thing that she was still holding that bottle of water and she finished it with a single take, now she didn't have a parched mouth but there was a bit of an aftertaste that she couldn't explain and she smelled the bottle suspicious.

"Everything ok?"

Clary startled with the sneaky incoming question, she hadn't seen Quinn arrive and now he was _really_ close to her. "Yeah…" she looked at him with a glare. "This water… did you…" the words suddenly started to slip away from her tongue, she knew what she wanted to ask but she couldn't do it.

Quinn moved closer to her to get rid of the bottle.

She hated not having a whole lot of personal space, specially if it was Quinn who was robing her of air. "It's a little hot in here, isn't it?" She murmured with the strangest fever running along her spine.

"It is." He answered delighted. "Maybe we should go outside for some fresh air…" he started to touch her wavy red hair.

"No, I'm…" she moved her head away from his hand or at least she thought she did because somehow he was still brushing her hair and now everything was starting to get dizzier for her.

Quinn secured her by the arm and started walking with her, this stuff was really strong and she was already loosing her balance. "She's not feeling well so I'm taking her home." He told one of the roadies, it was important that the message got to Simon, if no one was looking for her it would give him more time.

"No…" she whispered, she tried looking back but she was constantly tripping, and hearing her heart drumming in her ears was really distracting. "What was in that water?" She stumbled all the way to the back alley.

Now that they were alone he grabbed her other arm so that he could bring her closer to him. "It will be out of your system tomorrow and I'll leave you at your house at dawn." He leaned in to appreciate how amazingly sweet she smelled. "In your bed and all."

She was drugged and that much she could assimilate, she was getting weaker by the second but her repulse for Quinn was just that bit stronger and she started fighting him, she struggled to get free from his hold and to push him away, it was an uneven fight with everything swirling around her and her very consciousness slipping away but between that shove and pull she heard a distant voice from the beginning of the alley.

Clary could swear that it sounded like the angel from before telling Quinn to get away from her but at this point it could also be the drugs kicking in and inducing her wishful thinking, whatever it was she stopped feeling Quinn breathing in on her and stumbled without balance backwards, she managed to get to the wall while in the background there was a confusing sound of a hassle.

Then the wall disappeared, her hand slipped without stopping and she expected to feel the cold ground harshly welcoming her, it should happen at any moment as she felt herself slip further and further into this overwhelming darkness.

Jace caught her just at last second, right before she lost her senses and plummeted to the ground unconscious. "I got you." He said while holding her in his arms.

XxxxxX

Clary woke in a smooth warm bed, she didn't recognize it and after lifting her head from the silky pillow she also gathered that she didn't know the bedroom.

She left the bed with a suspicious look around the space, the decoration was Orient inspired but there weren't many personal objects around, with the exception of this picture that was framed right in the middle of a blossom flower mural, she knew the handsome guy on the right because she met him in the alley, the girl in the middle was the one back at the club and on the left was a gorgeous tall guy with dark hair and warm brown eyes.

The picture made her smile, they looked genuinely happy and it wasn't just because they were all smiling from ear to ear, there was a visible connection between them and Clary saw nothing but love and union in that picture.

After leaving the bedroom she easily found Jace, he was waiting for her in the only open space of the loft, again the room wasn't filled with furniture and major decoration, in fact the only eye-catching thing were the long windows that allowed the sun in and the majestic piano that he carried on playing even after she entered the room.

"I hope that I didn't wake you up." He greeted her with a big smile.

Between his fingers flying across the keys, the enticing Henley shirt that he was wearing and the silver ring hanging from a chain around his neck, Clary had a lot to digest but she focused on his face for now. "How long was I out?"

"Six hours or so…" he stopped playing. "That kind of drug usually wears off by its own so you'll be ok."

"How do you know?" Clary asked in a low voice, defensive.

"My sister Isabelle is determined to be a doctor so during her first year of college she learned how to identify drugs and how to stay away from them." He closed the piano reaching out for the phone that had been under his watch. "I kept this so that I could tell whoever called first that you were here."

Clary took the phone quietly, she knew that no one had called.

There was a story there but he didn't push it. "So who's the guy I left in the alley with a broken nose, I'm assuming he's not a very poor choice of a boyfriend?"

"He's name is Quinn." Clary tapped the phone against her palm. "He's… sort of a security that works for Simon."

Jace stood up from the piano seat. "Simon really doesn't have a clue of what's happening around him, does he?" He reinforced his one-sided question with a playful scold.

"Can you not pick on my friend for ten seconds?" Clary parted her arms hopeful. "I took that water, not him. If you have to be angry at someone be at the idiot here who fell so easily into the pervert trap."

"Izzy's interest in drugs isn't purely academic, she had an addiction during her first year of college and she didn't tell anyone in the family because she was ashamed of it." Jace explained as he grew closer to her. "When we found out we didn't know what to tell her or what to do but we never once blamed her."

Clary took the hint but the last 8 hours of her life were everything but predictable. "Alec is the other really attractive guy in the family portrait that you have in your bedroom?"

"Yeah." Jace's face lit up with a warm smile. "I was adopted by Alec and Izzy's parents when I was ten and they've been my family ever since."

She connected instantly to his loss. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" He asked with a confused narrow of his eyes.

"Your parents…" she shortened the reply afraid that she would hurt his feelings.

Nonchalantly he shook his head. "Don't be. My mother died when I was born and ten years later my father died in an accident…" he played it cool. "Everyone has a sad story."

Clary looked at him hesitant. "Still, you never wished that things would be different?"

"Why would I?" Jace couldn't really understand the question.

Her bravery faded as fast as it had appeared. "I don't know…" she looked down on her phone. "Maybe I'm still a little high." She glanced up. "And I'm not making any sense…"

He stopped her right there by softly asking her. "Tell me."

His eyes were as enticing as they were comforting so she stayed there. "I lost my mother when I was 16 and things have been horrible ever since but even before she was killed I always felt like there was something missing, like this isn't the life that I'm supposed to be living."

Jace wrapped his hand around the ring that was hooked to his necklace. "This belonged to my father and it's the only thing that I have left of him." He gathered his thoughts for a second, it was so rare that he actually spoke to anyone about his childhood. "And sometimes I do think about all the things that he wanted for me and how I probably won't achieve half of them but I don't believe in excuses and if I want something I'm not going to wait around for it to happen."

She gazed at him wondering if he was real or if he was just a really damn good hallucination and Jace looked at her with the same feeling, at least that's what she felt and she awkwardly tried to say something insightful. "Thank you for what you did last night."

"Not a problem." He shrugged it off. "And I've added my number to your phone so if Quinn ever bothers you again you can call me and I'll handle it."

Clary gazed helplessly into his eyes, she wanted to call him either way.

"Well, you look recovered and I don't know about you but I like to start my day with breakfast." He laid out the invitation with a big flirting smile.

And she would totally have said yes if it wasn't for the avalanche of messages that she received on her phone out of nowhere. "That's… going to have to wait because Simon is having one of his crisis… he's not very good with alcohol and judging by his messages he wasn't the only one who woke up in a strange bed."

"Maybe I should text Izzy…" Jace frowned. "She promised me that she would go back to the dorm right after the concert." He quickly messaged his sister.

Clary looked at Jace with a playful smile and a tiny reprimand on her eyes.

He locked his phone unhappy with Isabelle's answer. "I can't catch a break with this Simon guy."

She laughed because he looked genuinely bothered and she couldn't imagine how someone wouldn't love Simon, he was the purest person she ever met.

"Can I at least take you home?" He suggested.

"I'd like that." Although this dreamy episode was coming to an end she still wanted the chance to stay with him for a little longer.

Of course that her enthusiasm iced a bit when she found out that he planned on taking her home on a black sturdy motorcycle, it looked a bit daunting and not even the sinful look of Jace riding a potent bike made her relax the tiniest. "Don't you own a car?"

"Of course that I do but this is way cooler." He reached out his hand to help her.

Clary propped herself up onto the motorcycle, immediately she realized that although the machine was huge there wasn't much space to sit and she was irreversibly glued to his back, there was literally no room to move and she had no idea what to do with her hands.

Jace looked back with a sly smile. "Put your arms around me, you will need to hold on tight for this."

"You're already enjoying this way more than I am."

With a twist of his wrist the engine kicked off and the bike rumbled with a thirst for speed. "I haven't done anything yet." He spoke loudly to go over the loud awakening of a beast.

Clary wrapped her arms around him without much force and locked her feet into position to secure herself for the ride. "Seriously…" she mumbled, how could her life shift so much overnight.

"Are you ready?" He teased the engine for another go.

"Don't drop me." She yelled over the heavy continuous sound.

"Don't worry Clary, I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He promised wholeheartedly.

She smiled believing him and as soon as they were in motion she actually loved everything about it, specially the feel of having the air rushing through them and racing along a busy street without stopping.

He could sense her easing into it, she was melting against his body and getting more comfortable. "Where do you live?" He shouted without looking back.

"Brooklyn." She said with a happy squeal, he just dodged a few cars and she liked how much control he had over the bike.

He grinned happy that he could take the next turn, it was a shortcut to the bridge where he could really speed up. "Hold on tight." He asked just as they whooshed across the narrow street.

Clary closed her hands into fists, she clutched his shirt between her fingers unwilling to let go of his scented shirt and she brought herself even closer to his muscled body.

"Do you have a good grip?" He asked her just before they reached the bridge.

"You keep telling me that…" she didn't understand why.

Jace answered by really pushing the bike to its limits.

Clary laughed happily as they practically flew across the bridge, they were going so fast that she genuinely felt as if she was flying with an angel. "Why didn't you do that in the first place?"

Jace laughed defying all laws of speed and gravity.

XxxxxxX

They were still laughing as he eased the slow pace to park in front of a modest house that wasn't exactly in the best of neighborhoods.

"That was amazing." Clary said as she climbed off the motorcycle, it had really been one of the best experiences ever.

"I had a feeling that you would like it." He stopped the engine entirely.

To be frank she couldn't remember the last time she laughed so much. "Thanks for… everything." She thanked him again.

"So, this is where you live…" he had a small look at the house behind her.

She glanced back at the grey house as well. "It's just a house." She never saw it as _home_.

Her phone buzzed again with a message so Jace started the engine. "You've made home safe and I really don't want to bump into your best of all friends so I'm going to hit the road."

Clary postponed reading the message so that she could focus only on him. "Jace…" she had a shred of ballsy bravery and she clung to it. "Even if Quinn doesn't harass me ever again, can I still call you?"

He was already in motion so he answered as he slowly drove off. "You should read your messages."

Clary squinted confused but when she unlocked her phone the last message was actually from him.

 **Will you have dinner with me tonight?**

She looked up fast but he was already gone, of course that she would say yes and she turned around with a smile that reached her green eyes.

Standing on the sidewalk however was a gorgeous guy wearing a velvet shirt and on point eyeliner. "I do love a good romantic shenanigan." He pressed his palm against his heart.

"Who are you?" She asked almost with a feeling that she already knew him.

"Magnus Bane." He said with the same flair that he paced closer to her. "And you're Jocelyn's daughter."

"How do you know that?" She stiffened.

"I was expecting your mother but since the energy that I'm feeling comes from you I'm assuming that poor Jocelyn hasn't made it far."

"She died…" Clary wanted to say that it happened years ago but she couldn't, she was suddenly confused about something so certain in her life.

"Biscuit…" Magnus softly placed his hands on her arms. "I need you to remember."

"Remember what?" She whispered.

"Who's your anchor?" He started with something simple.

Clary looked back in a daze.

"Predictable choice." He said with a crumble of his lips. "Not that I'm judging you, he does have nice hair and eyes but Alexandre…" he moaned.

Clary cocked her eyebrow.

"So Jace is your anchor." He tightened his hands around her arms and looked very intensely into her eyes. "I need you to focus on him."

Clary was very addled by all of this but maybe if she did what he wanted he would go away fast.

Magnus snapped his fingers and like a veil being lifted Clary shook her head falling back into her own self.

"Magnus!" She exclaimed thrilled to see him.

He laughed when she threw herself in his arms for a hug. "Welcome back biscuit."

"Did you follow me here?" She asked stunned as she pulled away from him.

"I live in this dimension." He moved his fingers like he was tickling the air around them. "It's been good to some of us and it looks like it's going to become better for others." He gave her a knowing side-look. "I will need the stone now."

"How do you know about all of this?" She started looking inside of her pockets for the gem.

"Your mother came through a couple of years ago and she looked for me, she warned me that you might come one day and if that happened all that I had to do was help you find your way home." He walked up the old stairs of the porch.

"My mother keeps surprising me even after she's gone." Clary followed him to the front door.

"When your mother found me I was a lost kid trying to deal with my super secretive powers, she helped me find myself and I promised her that I would return the favor one day."

"I'm happy that you're happy in this dimension Magnus." That was important to her.

He smiled emotive. "The people we love Clary are important, they are like runes that mark our soul and that matrix is part of you no matter how many lives you experience or the universe in which you exist. You may fight against it but odds are that you will feel empty and estranged from your own life so the best…" he turned to the door and placed the gem in this tiny crack on the door, it was a perfect puzzled match and a portal instantly came alive. "… is to embrace it."

That was a lot to take in and Clary wasn't even taking into consideration the fact that no matter what reality she walked into Jace was always a part of it.

"You're part of his matrix as well so one of you will always find the other." Magnus stroked her arm gently.

She looked at him baffled, could he read minds?

Magnus winked at her. "It's all over your face biscuit." He clapped once ready to start the show. "Are you ready to go home?" The blue energy started forming between his palms.

She looked at the portal with a nod. "Yes."

He held it open long enough for her to go through, then he closed that entrance permanently.

XxxxxX

When Clary came out of the portal she was in her bedroom, the sequence of events went by too quickly in her head but thankfully she remembered everything so as fast as she could she stormed to his bedroom.

She didn't knock which was a habit and Jace looked at the door deviating from his current mission, he was filling up a bag with his clothes to take to Idris. "What? I'm not packing quick enough for you?"

Clary regretted everything she said in the elevator at once, and what she didn't say. "I don't want you to go."

Jace dropped the last shirt of his pile confused. "I already told Alec that I was leaving."

"Come on Jace." She came closer to him with a pleading in her eyes. "Everyone knows that you're doing this because of me and I already told you that I don't want you to go."

For a second Jace thought about losing it, about throwing the damn bag against the wall and yell at her to stop messing up and confusing the hell out of him but truthfully he was just tired of it all. "Whatever." He decided that it was an amazing time to walk away.

"Jace..." she spun around as he left the room.

He kept walking even though she kept calling him.

"Where are you going?" Clary tried to keep up with him.

"To find a bar and to get drunk." He was determined and he wasn't stopping for anything or anyone.

"Do you remember the night you took me to that vampire bar? You said that you didn't drink but lately that's happening a lot."

Jace stopped his steady strut to face her angrily. "Well, back then I didn't have three different last names and three different fathers. Back then I didn't have to worry about falling for a girl that out of nowhere became my sister." His angry spur lowered of intensity along with the strength in his voice. "And I didn't have to deal with the fact that finding out the truth meant absolutely nothing because you moved on."

The words lodged deeper than Jace would ever give her credit for, they were like a hand full of salt that he rubbed over a gushing open piece of flesh for she had not remotely moved on, she couldn't. "You're right." She tried to give some volume to her voice but the words were barely audible.

They were still strident enough for Jace, he was so well guarded before Clary showed up with her disarming ability to _see_ him. "Yeah…" he started to turn away.

Clary took ownership of her legs this time and they moved before her brain commanded them, she was next to him in a flash and even her hands seemed to be having a mindset of their own. "Everything was different back then." She glided her hand across his cheek. "I was thrown into this crazy world where demons and vampires existed, where hunters had angelic blood and faeries were real but even with all that insanity going on there was something that made sense." She lowered her hand to take his. "You."

His blue eyes glistened with a roaring emotion that he tried to keep on a leash.

"You were there from day one and I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for you Jace, but I had to give you up because I wasn't allowed to fall for my own brother." Her voice broke into this painful cut. "And when you told me that you weren't my brother I was so mad at you because I thought that if you hadn't told me right away it's because you moved on as well and then we kissed at the Seelie Court…"

Jace cupped her cheek, he ran his thumb along her soft skin. "You felt it too…"

"I shouldn't be angry at you, I was the one who brought Simon into this and now he's hurt because of me."

He wasn't going to put in a good word for Simon again and he didn't have to, he knew how important Simon was to Clary and he respected that, slowly he pulled away from her. "I still need that drink."

She smiled at him, her big shining eyes were a declaration of how thankful she was to have him in her life, even if she needed time to straighten her head. "I'm coming with you."

He scoffed her with one of his careless smirks. "Try to keep up."

"Actually…" she smirked as well but with a devious hint. "Do you still have that bike that we stole from the vampires?"


End file.
